So I came across (who am I kidding, I was searching for it) a job opening today at a place I think I'd like to work. It's still research, but it's with a public health organization that provides health care to low income women and their families. Totally right up my alley.
The issues are:
1. Not wanting to burn bridges in academia
2. How can I even contemplate leaving in the middle of my postdoc (the amount of effort and $$ NIH has put into training me... the GUILT), see #1
3. Why would I make my life more difficult in the middle/beginning of IF treatment when my schedule is sooooo flexible now
Argh. Reading my list, I think I need to stick this postdoc out for now. And stop looking for other jobs. But, oh, the angst.
The other problem weighing on my mind today is our (old, Victorian, needs a LOT of work) house. We've put all the extra money we have into fixing the roof, the sewer line, and now our 3rd floor (new bathroom, new flooring, new windows, new electric, etc.). The amount that still needs to be done to this house is staggering. Pull up nasty carpets and tear off ancient linoleum to get to hardwood floors, which need refinishing; new kitchen (total gut job); many more new windows; new master bed/bath (again, MAJOR gut job); etc. I don't know where we thought we were going to have the money for all of this. It is feeling so overwhelming right now. I think we were on serious cr.ack when we decided to buy this house a year and a half ago. What do we do? Cut our losses and try to sell it without a new kitchen etc.? Stick it out and see it as a long term, decades long, project? Uuuuggh.
In IF news, lap scheduled for March 7. Anyone ever had one? I'm a little skeered of the whole surgery.
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6 comments:
Uh oh - job searching is addictive! Can you get out of your postdoc fellowship or do you have a payback obligation? Would this new job violate that? That would be the only thing that would concern me about bailing on an NRSA. Otherwise, burn baby burn! If you are unhappy, get moving!!! (but maybe that's just me!)
Good luck with the lap. I've not had one but plenty have and done just fine. You'll do great and at least you'll get some info as to what's going on in your insides.
Well you just put me off buying a house to renovate. It sounds all romantic at the time but it sounds like ALOT of work! I guess just take it one room/thing at a time and eventually it'll all be done!
I've had a lap and they aren't bad at all. They make one or two incisions depending on whether they need to remove something and the stitches are tiny. The only discomfort I found is trying to wee afterwards, it refuses to come out and I couldn't leave the hospital until I'd wee'd. You will feel a bit bloated afterwards because they fill you up with air to see what going on inside but recovery is fairly quick. Good Luck, you'll be fine!!
Hey Carrie, I have had 2 laps in the last two years. (Stage 2 endometriosis) They aren't too bad, but just as Bumble says, you feel like a helium balloon for a couple of days, may have stiffness in your shoulders, and definitely battle to pee. But the incisions are tiny and heal very quickly. No worries!
Hi Carrie,
I get the urge to job search every now and then, too, but then think of the whole interviewing process and it's enough to keep me away from monster.com for a good month or two!!
As far as laps, I had 3 in less than a year. My 1st was the worst b/c I had stage IV (worst my RE had seen in his 20 years) endo plus 2 huge endometriomas. The other 2 were an absolute piece of cake. The worst part for me was waking up out of the anesthesia cloud but, after that, I just had to take it easy for a couple of days but nothing major. I'd be glad to answer any questions you have though!
Hey there,
Thanks so much for the kind comments you left on my blog. I am always excited to have a new blog to read. I can completely relate to you quandry over whether to leave your postdoc. If you see my post, The Crossroads, you will find that I am battling something similar. The guilt I feel over leaving science/research is enormous. After talking to my former advisor, a best friend of mine, about the issue he told me that what I learned in grad school will always be with me and will help me no matter what I choose. He just wants me to be happy. And that's what I want for you too.
Add us to the list of blogs to stalk=) We are new to the infertile block...glad to have some company, but dont wish it on anyone! Stop in sometime...
Good luck with your lap!
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